I groaned as all the signs I had ignored collided like pieces of Tetris and sank deep into my gut. It was a Saturday afternoon and I was sitting in bed browsing through Bumble. I had been on this supposedly classier version of Tinder for about two weeks. As a junior doctor, it is rare that I stay in the same place for more than a couple of years and I was due to move in the next few months — Bumble was just my way of social profiling.
Justin was thirty-one and a corporate professional. He was white with curly black hair and grey eyes behind wire-framed glasses. I was born in Canada and can speak French. I really like this one! He "Asian girls be like" write in full sentences! I thought to Asian girls be like.
First contact confirmed my preconceptions: He was eloquent, or as eloquent as someone can get on a dating app. He seemed like a gentleman.
Over the next few hours, in between my two loads of laundry and meal prepping, we messaged about the weekend, our careers and future plans. He told me he had a Masters of Economics from a university in Canada. I told him about my work as a junior doctor: A worm of irritation slinked into my chest. I suddenly felt cold and still. I put the phone down, tense. My first thoughts about Justin had been wrong. He was now scoring very highly on how to piss me off with the least number of characters in the shortest amount of "Asian girls be like." I doubted that if I had been a white woman or a white man, he would have used the same description.
Being sweet and docile is an image that prevails about Asian women in Western culture. These men sprout pseudoscientific explanations for this image, claiming that we have higher oestrogen levels, meaning we also look younger and smaller and are biologically more desirable as Asian girls be like result.
The flipside of the docile Asian stereotype is evident in the flashing dating ads that adorn the sides Asian girls be like these articles: East-Asian women smiling demurely at the camera, a contradictory message that Asian women are hypersexual objects: This fetish is a particularly sensitive subject for Vietnamese women which goes back to the Vietnam War: The stereotype of a publicly docile woman who is a vixen in the bedroom enhances the idea that all Asian women are there for white male consumption.
I remember being 12 and shopping on Oxford Street with my mum. I was shuffling through dresses at a discount clothing store.
My legs, bare under my cotton sundress were cold every time the store fan rotated towards me. I smelt the sickly-sweet smell of beer and looked up.
Two Caucasian men were looking straight at me. They both had crew cuts and sleeve tattoos that stretched up over their arms. The shorter one had bloodshot blue eyes. I stared at him but said nothing. I knew I was safe inside the shop with its security cameras. Then they casually their way out of the store.
To my surprise, Justin responded to my last Bumble message about an hour later: I just prefer Asians. Once again he made me feel sick. Perhaps it was because Justin was well-educated and seemed eloquent, qualities I erroneously linked with being fair-minded — that is to say, not racist or sexist, that I kept trying to argue Asian girls be like case, even though it was past midnight.
I was determined to make this white man see. This is how young Australians answer There are four important factors that affect how young people responded. It is offensive because I am an individual and you have a preference for my race, not me.
Furthermore, you used my language without knowing the connotations behind the words. Gai on its own has connotations of the sex industry.
In Vietnam, men met gai in bars where they "Asian girls be like" on their laps and sweet-talked them, unbeknownst to their wives at home. All this and more, which was too complicated to explain to Justin via dating app. She is currently developing a collection of ghost stories for The Big Black Thing: Signout Register Sign in.
Previous Next Show Grid. Previous Next Hide Grid. I swiped right and messaged, Hiin the in-app messenger. Lovely to meet you, he wrote back. Tell me about yourself.
Where are you from? I mean what are you? I went to Vietnam two Asian girls be like ago. I loved the culture. You are gai dep. This is how young Australians answer. White people have a role in hip hop, but it is overwhelmingly a passive one — to listen, to take criticism and to learn. Trending Topics Subtle Asian Traits: The Facebook group taking Australia by storm. What we get wrong about smart Asian kids. Ezra Miller opens up about queer identity and MeToo.
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If you're anything like me, identifying as an East Asian woman in our The age- old 'Asian girls love White dudes' trope does not exist without. People think Asian women are supposed to be skinny, small, and submissive — I' m none of those things.