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How to get a friend over a break up

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It's normal to feel powerless when your friend goes through a tough breakup, but one of the most important things you'll need to do will be realizing that you cannot simply change or fix the situation. Handling Rejection Supporting Friends.

Expert Co-Authored Why choose wikiHow? When you see the green expert checkmark on a wikiHow article, you can trust that it has been carefully reviewed by a qualified expert. Immediately after a breakup—regardless of whether the relationship was six months or six years—your friend is likely to feel confused in addition to sadness.

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Your friend will likely want to start talking through this confusion almost immediately, and genuinely listening is one of the first and most meaningful steps you can take to show you care. Having patience through the process begins immediately and lasts the entire time. If it helps you, remind yourself of a similar time the friend helped you either through a breakup or maybe the loss of a job. Think objectively about how patient the friend was with you during your more difficult moments.

Help your friend feel understood.

In general, you should say things that both reassure your friend and acknowledge that his or her feelings are valid. Avoid telling the friend how to feel such as telling them to stay positive, and avoid immediately giving advice unless you are asked for it. Just repeat back what they say to you to show them that you're listening. Validate their feelings by assuring them that it is okay to feel the way that they do. Avoid bringing up your previous breakups.

Discourage your friend from contacting the ex. Forbidding your friend from contacting the ex is like a parent forbidding a teenager from doing something.

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